Deidara Oneshot
by rendezvous2
Summary: A Deidara Oneshot on what happens when a certain blonde bomber is stuck outside the Akatsuki hideout. Dumplings are involved. DeiXDum (XD) Ok enjoy


A/N: Hey guys this is my first ever story (that I've actually gone past the first pargraph with :p) so please don't butcher it up. That being said, hope you enjoy and I would love any reviews! Seriously, it takes like five seconds people. Random but here's a happy Pain - ^::^

Deidara One shot

Well damn it.

It was cold, raining, and on top of it all, Deidara was stuck outside, with no way to get into the Akatuski hideout.

The large boulder had always opened when he did the hand signs, but for some reason, it chose not to work. And it had to be the day Deidara told Sasori to go ahead without him while he stayed behind at the small village they were out to "take care" of the ninjas there.

Deidara groaned in anger and frustration and started pounding on the rock.

"HEY! SASORI! I'M STUCK OUT HERE! ANYONE?! OPEN THE DAMN ROCK!" Deidara yelled and continued pointlessly hitting the rock. Finally, he slumped in front of it, his usually straight blonde hair now completely soaked and rapidly becoming frizzier by the second.

"This sucks, un." The blue sky was now gray with ominous claps of thunder and the occasional streak of lightning. The rain poured down, merciless of the poor blonde bomber trapped outdoors.

Deidara reached into one of his clay pouches and molded the clay into small crickets beforelaunching them at the entrance of the cave.

"This oughta work. Ha!" He yelled and detonated the works of art. The smoke cleared.

The boulder sat there, without so much as a scratch on it.

Deidara fell to his knees and shook his fists at the sky.

"No-hohohohooo whyyy!" He said dramatically. Someone would eventually realize he was missing, right? Sasori would know, Deidara should've arrived shortly after he did. Even Itachi, who was usually dead to the world, had to realize at some point the usualy explosions heard inside the cave were absent. Someone, anyone!

The blonde bomber sat alone in the rain, angry, and now, bored out of his mind. He usually worked on his art, but the last mission had used up most of the clay he had been carrying with him. Deidara's hand- mouths were sad.

"What to do...hm..." He wondered outloud. _I've always wanted to try the famous Leaf village dumplings_, he thought. An idea occurred to him...

*Inside the Akastuki Hideout*

"Hey, aren't there usually explosions happening around this time?" Itachi asked Kisame, who were both seated at the kitchen table. Kisame shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. It's Deidara, or whatever. Who knows. Who cares." He stood up exitedly and peered at a glass bowl. "Look, Itachi! Look, look, it's a new goldfish! I think I'm going to name him Swimmy." Kisame rubbed the side of his face against the bowl affectionally. Itachi scooted further away. "Yeah, okay, I'm going to go now..." He said, all thoughts of Deidara replaced with the disturbing picture of his partner marrying a goldfish in a bride's dress.

Sasori was seated in the dark, doing absolutely nothing. The windows had been shut closed, with not even a single ray of sunlight seeping through. The gap under the door had been sealed off with a rug, and there were no lights on inside the workshop. This was what Sasori liked to call, "The Thinking Hour." He usually sat in his workshop for an hour doing absolutely nothing, thinking about absolutely nothing, and caring about absolutely nothing. It was quite peaceful, actually. But he couldn't quite shake the feeling that he had forgotten to do something...

*Back Outside*  
The rain had intensified, but Deidara was no longer upset. On the contrary, he was quite happy now. With his empty stomache on his mind, he set off on foot for the Hidden Leaf village. If he traveled fast enough, he should be there in about an hour or two. The hideout wasn't really too far from the village, not so smart of an idea. On the bright side, it brought him that much closer to a plate of nice, hot, sweet, savory, dumplings, with out- of- this- world sauce and a nice tangy side dish-

BAM! Deidara yelled outloud as his face and a tree suddenly crossed paths.

"OW!" He yelled and groaned as his face pulsed with pain. Stupid tree. Deidara side kicked it as hard as he could and it toppled to the ground. Slightly feeling better, he continued on his quest for dumplings.

An hour later, the rain had slowed to a drizzle, so although he was still totally soaked, he was no longer taking a nonstop shower. And the Akastuki cloak had to go too. Deidara squeezed the water out of it and bundle it up into a small ball and stored it next to a clump of bushes. The Leaf village gates had com into view.

"Hm...this village actually looks pretty nice if you're not there to blow it up." Deidara stated before entering. There were two men stationed at the entrance who immediately stopped him.

"Hey! You there, state your purpose, who are you?" Deidara grinned. "I'm here to get some dumplings. I heard the ones here can't be beat. Name's Deidara." The two relaxed and waved him in, obviously not realizing he was part of the most wanted S- rank criminal organization in the ninja world. No, to them, he was simply a weirdo guy who suddenly had a craving for Konoha dumplings. Not that they could blame him.

Deidara strolled into the town, a stupid grin plastered on his face. It would have been so easy to infiltrate the place if he had been on a mission. But now, the only mission he had was getting his dumplings.

"Hi there, I haven't seen you around before. You new here?" A stupuid looking kid with spiky yellow hair and bright blue eyes suddenly stopped him in his tracks.

"Uhhh, nope. Just here to get some dumplings, un." Deidara sidestepped him and continued searching for the store. Finally, the dumpling shop met his eyes. Deidara gasped and ran towards it like a Tobi.

"DUMPLINGS, UN." Naruto was left speechless in the middle of the street.

Deidara immediately ordered a dish of the place's best dumplings and chowed down when they arrived, steaming and lightly topped with a sweet- smelling sauce.

It was like an explosion of flavors. Sweet, savory, salty, the three S's mixed together into one delicious Konoha dumpling. Deidara sighed and chewed thoughtfully. If only Konan made food like this...the Akatsuki organization would've been complete...and kick out Itachi...make Sasori appreciate his art...fix that stupid boulder...get Hidan to stop having his dumb rituals in the middle of dinner...make Kakuzu replace the broken lightbuls everywhere...have Zetsu stop eating pe-

Okay, so maybe the thing wasn't perfect, but still.

Deidara finished his plate and left the money on the table. His hunger and curiosity was quenched. Now, it was time to return back to the cave.

*One Hour Later*

Deidara sighed and prayed to the Boulder God to open the damn thing. He did the hand signs...and then...

The boulder rolled over! Deidara shouted a thanks to the Boulder God and scrambled inside. He was met with Pain who was currently re- coating his nails in a nice red color (Nin- Nails #406 Red as the Fireball Jutsu). "Where have you been? You were supposed to have returned with Sasori over three hours ago." Said Pain in his ominous voice. Deidara scoffed.

"I would've, but the freaking rock wouldn't budge! I did the hand signs and everything." He whined. Pain raised an eyebrow before having an ah- ha moment.

"Probably because the rock doesn't work anymore. Didn't Sasori tell you? We got a door with security and everything." Pain stated and after a while added, "Must've sucked for you. Being out in the rain." He left.

Deidara furrowed his eyebrows and frowned. But all that mattered was that he got his dumplings, and was quite satisfied with the results.

The End.

A/N: I know, I know, not really that good but give me reviews! Tell me what you think! Love it? Hate it? Eh? Amaze- balls? Ok thanks for reading love you so much if you gave my story a chance, baiii. Until next time...

-A


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